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What’s Making Us Stupid Today?

The results are in for several new studies and it doesn’t look good. Here’s what’s making us stupid today:

1. Women

Technically, it is contact with the opposite sex that seems to make people stupid, but the effects are especially pronounced for men in the presence of women, says a whole bunch of scientists who are probably afraid of girls. Two different studies performed by Dutch scientist Johan C. Karremans and colleagues at Radboud University of Nijmegen showed that men (but not women) overwhelmingly performed cognitive “thinking” tasks poorer when in the presence of a woman. Not surprisingly, there was obvious correlation between the level of attraction the man reported feeling for the woman in the room and his ability to render his hands and brain useful. A handful of women with a “goal to impress” the men in the room fared poorer than the rest. I couldn’t care less about proving that men get stupid when ration of X chromosomes in a room increases – like I didn’t already know that? – but I do like to see some science backing up the idea that women who do things because they think it will impress some man are less likely to do that thing well. Hear that, ladies? Trying to impress men makes you stupid, so cut it out already.

2. Spongebob

If you ever needed a reason to turn off the Spongebob Squarepants and send your kids out into the back yard to play, now you have it. Spongebob makes your kids stupid, hyperactive brats. Do you even need an explanation? Okay, okay, you’re right. “Just because” is not a very good answer if you’re trying to get them to go away.

University of Virginia psychology professor Angeline Lillard randomly assigned 60 four-year-old children into three different groups, each of which spent nine minutes in a chosen activity. One group got creative with some crayons and spent the time drawing, one watching a “slower paced” children’s program called Caillou, and the other watched the “fast paced” program Spongebob Squarepants. Results?

“After nine minutes, the kids took a variety of cognitive tests, as well as a test of self-control that involved measuring how long they could wait to eat snacks. The SpongeBob kids scored an average of 12 points lower on the cognitive tests than the other groups, who did about the same as one another. And they were only able to wait about two and a half minutes before scarfing the snacks, while other kids could hold off for four.”

Nickelodeon says the problem is that the study sample is too young (Spongebob is supposed to be for 6 to 11 year olds) but the study authors didn’t figure that kids pay too much attention to those sorts of “rules” if their parents aren’t paying attention. Regardless, the study wasn’t meant to comment directly on the sea sponge and his Bikini Bottom pals who make fast food look so glamorous, but all “fast paced” children’s programming like it. Just turn the TV off and back away slowly.

3. Video Games

Well, okay, this isn’t really a study about how video games make kids stupid, but it might make them hate you. Or the other way around. A recent study shows that kids who play a lot of video games are more likely to judge their parents poorly as authorities and role models. Do bad parents let their kids play more stupid video games? Or do video games make teenagers into sullen angry monsters who hate everyone? Only time will tell.

posted by BexvanKoot in Media Stupidity,Plain Ol' Stupidity,Pop Culture Stupidity,Relationship Stupidity,Science Stupidity,Technology Stupidity and have Comments Off

Media Stupidity of the Week: The Stupid Canadian Edition

Okay, okay… our first entry here in the Stupid Canadian Edition of your media stupidity report isn’t necessary just a Canadian issue… but I have seen these KY commercials in Canada, so shut up.

Yes, the makers of KY Jelly are the inspiration for our first dose of stupid today. After the shocking revelation in the scientific community that bisexual men exist, KY has advanced the acceptance of LGBT shoppers and tv watchers everywhere, by admitting to a television audience that not only do lesbians exist… but they have sex too! Like normal people, you know, not just on Showcase or HBO, but sometimes on CityTV really late at night… achem.

According to a KY press release:

Gay male couples have been featured in print advertising since 2008 and now the brand is continuing its tradition of support and visibility with advertising that is inclusive of lesbian couples.

People are calling it some kind of LGBT triumph and, as was to be expected, other people are showing it off as proof that the “homosexual agenda” has reached our living rooms and is brainwashing our children. Oh, diversity, how I love you. Always so predictably oppositional across some completely ridiculous and arbitrary line in the sand.

Speaking of ridiculous things that are pissing people off….. sexy stick figures!

Anti-adultery website Cheaterville.com is crying harassment and a pro-cheating agenda because the Toronto Sun refused to print its ad.

Media Stupidity of the Week: The Stupid Canadian Edition   Stupid American Culture, Brainwashed Americans, Stupidity of Americans

In a subsequent press release, a Cheaterville.com spokesperson says:

The ad was REJECTED by The Toronto Sun, taking away Cheaterville.com’s “freedom of speech” to speak and advertise openly about anti-cheating in Toronto, Canada—one of the highest rated cities where people have been caught cheating.

An Advertising Sales Account Manager for The Toronto Sun said, “The stick figures are not appropriate. We do not publish ads that show the act of sex for it may offend some of the readers. Although we do have some ads and pictures selling the idea of sex we need to make sure advertisements of this nature is done in a tasteful way so they do not offend any readers.”

I’ll be the first to admit that The Sun isn’t exactly the classiest paper that Toronto has to offer, but the Cheaterville.com website owner goes a bit overboard, suggesting that they didn’t run his image of a stick-women bent over a desk being impaled by a giant stick-dong because the media is conspiring to encourage cheating, since cheating scandals sell papers. Yes, that must be it.

Finally, a bunch of people in Alberta and now everywhere else are up in arms because some idiot at a radio station had a brilliant idea for the stupidest radio contest ever. Possibly trying to one-up the recent boob-job giveaway in Calgary, hosts over at 100.3 FM “The Bear” are planning to spice up the life of one man who is “interested in potential holy matrimony with a hot foreign chick” and doesn’t mind having to fly to Eastern Europe to tie the knot. Seriously… this is the “Win a Wife” contest.

Slate reports:

Although not everyone is a fan of the “Win a Wife” contest – Alberta’s immigration minister, Thomas Lukaszuk, has vowed to pull departmental advertising from the station as long as the contest continues – Rob Vavrek, brand director for “The Bear,” explains that the idea behind the contest is merely misunderstood.

According to Vavrek, “Win a Wife” is “a concept similar to many other such contests held on reality-TV shows over the past few years around the world,” such as The Bachelor.

Brilliant! I can see it now…. The Mail-Order Bachelorette! Perfect.

Also, does Immigration Alberta really advertise on the local radio? Think about that for a minute. Yeah.

posted by BexvanKoot in Corporate Stupidity,Media Stupidity,Pop Culture Stupidity and have Comments Off

Stupid Tech News of the Week: Back to the Future Shoes, AOL Die Hards and Google’s Gigawatts

You would think the geeks and nerds in the world of tech would be less likely to do stupid things that make them look like idiots than the rest of us, but alas even the tech world is run by morons. Which tech teams have their wires crossed this week, you ask?

For starters, Nike has decided that lame movies from the 80s are the best bet for design inspiration! They have announced that “Back to the Future” style “self-lacing” shoes are ready to go on the market. Nike purchased the patent for the Nike Air Mags, a self-tightening shoe sneaker attributed to Nike creators in the 2nd installment of everyone’s favorite time traveling car movie series.

If you ever wanted to spend $2000 on a pair of shoes, but stiletto heels aren’t your style, now is your chance! There are only 1500 pairs scheduled to be sold in total, and the first one went for… wait for it… $37,500. So you better start saving.

It’s hard to argue against stupidity when it’s for such a great cause.

Next up? AOL email addresses. Who still has one? In many a social circle, something so arcane could garner endless scorn and ridicule, but one brave user has come out as a relic of internet ages gone by to proclaim his AOL email address a status symbol of the infinite “prestige” of the “AOL survivors” who were too famous to switch when everyone realized that AOL is lame. Politico’s Ben Smith compiled a list of stragglers from political and media “elites” like:

POLITICS: David Axelrod, Jim Messina, John Weaver, Joe Trippi, Mandy Grunwald, Dick Morris (a recent defector to gmail), Frank Luntz, Ed Rollins, Guy Cecil, Tad Devine, Al Franken, Aaron Schock

MEDIA: Matt Drudge, Arianna Huffington (who was holding onto an AOL account long before AOL bought her company), David Brooks, David Corn, Robert Draper, Rick Perlstein, Ann Coulter, Tina Brown, Lawrence O’Donnell

And, finally, absolutely no ridiculous public outcry was noted when, at approximately the exact same moment that people all across Southern California were faced with the hideous and devastating reality of going without power for a day or two, news outlets began reporting on the biggest story in tech of the day…. Google’s electricity bill.

The information about how much energy the internet giant uses has been kept secret for quite awhile, because execs admit they were worried it might let the other guys know just how much Google was crushing them! But, now that everyone already knows who the big man on campus is, Google has stopped caring so much about appearing humble.

The New York Time piece made the “big reveal” in its tech pages, reporting that worldwide Google data centers continuously draw 260 million watts – about a quarter of the energy produced by an average nuclear power plant, and enough electricity to power an average of 200,000 American homes.

[T]he company asserts that the world is a greener place because people use less energy as a result of the billions of operations carried out in Google data centers. Google says people should consider things like the amount of gasoline saved when someone conducts a Google search rather than, say, drives to the library. “They look big in the small context,” Urs Hoelzle, Google’s senior vice president for technical infrastructure, said in an interview.

Well played! As long as those folks would have been heading to the library to search for porn, scrawl illiterate nonsense on the walls and poke people, you’re indeed doing the world a favor! Keep up the good work!

posted by BexvanKoot in Corporate Stupidity,Media Stupidity,Science Stupidity,Technology Stupidity and have Comments Off

Madonna Doesn’t Want Your Stupid Flowers… and Other Lame Celebrity News

Let’s face it. Celebrities pretty much never stop being stupid! In case you somehow missed them, here’s a round-up of this week’s lame celeb stories:

Perhaps enraged after seeing photos of herself looking a lot older than her Material Girl days, but not making quite a large enough splash by hating on Lady Gaga and moping around after reading the terrible reviews of her stupid new movie, Madonna decided to crush the heart of some adoring fan beneath her deadly heel. How dare he be so stupid and lame as to give her a bouquet of flowers without first thoroughly researching which kinds of flowers turn her into an eye-rolling, gift-dumping soulless monster!

Madonna’s professional smooth-talker, who missed the point entirely, tried to defend the diva’s rude public behavior:

“The hydrangea incident is so ridiculous… It’s not like she said she hated warm chocolate chip cookies and milk and little puppies!” and later… “She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world. No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”

I suppose it is at least a little bit comforting to know that, if someone were to gift Madonna with a box full of puppies, she probably wouldn’t just throw them off a bridge from a moving car. Probably…

In equally ridiculous celebrity “news” this week, it seems Beyonce was probably faking that big baby belly she demurely showed off for the cameras at some media whoring event folks are calling “the VMAs” or whatever. Who cares? Apparently, everyone.

While no one is suggesting that the superstar isn’t pregnant, “insider reports” suggest she’s only 8 weeks or so along, but strapped on a big fake belly for the awards to make a big scene and get everyone to take her photo in some wafting red bed sheets. Check out the “before” and “after” photos for yourself. Did she just want to get it out in the open without having to deal with everyone and their mother telling her she shouldn’t reveal the existence of her uterine parasite until after the first trimester? Just plain weird if you ask me.

Everyone’s favorite CNN celeb has his own new segment, and this past week he demonstrated the purpose of having free reign on the air: to make fun of other TV celebrities, of course! Duh!

This latest little tidbit of media mockery is directed at the always tabloid friendly Kate Gosselin, who rants and raves because her body guard has picky tastes and is disgusted by her own children’s hands.

 “It is a cautionary tale really, so many lessons for all of us to learn. Wash your hands, guard your food, and if you somehow, against all odds, find a woman who is willing to help you take eight kids on a cross country road trip, for goodness sakes let her divide the pizza any way she wants.”

Yes, folks, this is what passes for news nowadays. Enjoy.

posted by BexvanKoot in Media Stupidity,Pop Culture Stupidity and have Comment (1)

Giving A Crap Makes You Stupid!

What kind of people care about their reputation? You might envision doctors, lawyers, and CEOs, but recently Researchers from the University of Oklahoma have identified a particular group of folks who just really, really care about what others think: stupid white people. Scientists have identified something called “honor culture” as incredibly prevalent in particular rural areas across the Southern and Western U.S. They define honor as being “a characteristic of societies that place special emphasis on the aggressive defense of reputation” and, according to their research, it causes people to do some pretty stupid things in the name of looking tough.

A University of Oklahoma in Norman associate professor of social psychology, the study’s co-author Ryan Brown explains, “White males living in non-metropolitan areas in the U.S. in honor states are more prone to accidental deaths. They may be living with reckless abandon – by not wearing a seat belt or a helmet, for example – as a way of demonstrating they are tough and brave.”

So, I guess there’s one benefit to living in a city, where it’s only teenagers who do stupid things, and they do them just to impress their friends. Why does this phenomenon only affect white men, I wonder? ABC Reports:

Nisbett’s research on the honor culture and its relationship to homicide and other violent episodes focused on white men, because there are additional cultural and other factors that play a role in why men of other races commit violent crime.

Ah, of course. White men from the South posture and act like morons because they’re just stupid good ‘ole boys who can’t help themselves. Men of other races have simply been brainwashed by some other kind of stupid American culture.

The primary cause of death among young people (mid-forties or younger) is accidental injury, so public health officials are taking note. “[P]erhaps interventions that shame people into safer behaviors (e.g., ‘Don’t be a sissy! Buckle up!’), or rely on strong, high-status figures as models of responsible conduct would be effective at modifying social schemas and scripts about the meaning of strength and courage,” the authors wrote.

Courage. Bravery. Honor. We think of these words as being about standing up for one’s true beliefs and doing things that might be scary, but are nonetheless the “right” thing to do. But what do they really mean? Where do they come from?

courageGiving A Crap Makes You Stupid!   Stupid American Culture, Brainwashed Americans, Stupidity of Americansc.1300, from O.Fr. corage (12c., Mod.Fr. courage) “heart, innermost feelings; temper,” from V.L. *coraticum (cf. It. coraggio, Sp. coraje), from L. cor ”heart,” which remains a common metaphor for inner strength. In M.E., used broadly for “what is in one’s mind or thoughts,” hence “bravery,” but also “wrath, pride, confidence, lustiness,” or any sort of inclination. Replaced O.E. ellen, which also meant “zeal, strength.”

braveGiving A Crap Makes You Stupid!   Stupid American Culture, Brainwashed Americans, Stupidity of Americanslate 15c., from M.Fr., “splendid, valiant,” from It. bravo ”brave, bold,” originally “wild, savage,” possibly from M.L. bravus ”cutthroat, villain,” from L. pravus ”crooked, depraved.”

honor (n.) Giving A Crap Makes You Stupid!   Stupid American Culture, Brainwashed Americans, Stupidity of Americansc.1200, “glory, renown, fame earned,” from Anglo-Fr. honour, O.Fr. honor (Mod.Fr. honneur), from L. honorem (nom. honos, later honor) “honor, dignity, office, reputation,” of unknown origin.

Is it any wonder that, when we mix the concepts of inner strength and personal conviction with the image of some stupid savage celebrity on the front page of a newspaper, we end up with a bunch of American idiots street racing without seat belts or planking on apartment building railings?

posted by BexvanKoot in Media Stupidity,Plain Ol' Stupidity,Pop Culture Stupidity and have Comments Off